Jedi Apprentice: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
by Christina B
Summary: Based off the hit ABC show Whose Line Is It Anyway? This features QuiGon as the host with ObiWan, Siri, Bruck and Garen as the panelists. Humor and complete silliness ensues. NOW COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon, Siri or any other creations of the masterful George Lucas. Nor do I own Whose Line Is It Anyway? or any of the games in it.

AN: Once again I'm doing ANOTHER Whose Line story, I'm just too addicted I guess. This makes my 4th one, I know I'm pathetic. But this time I'm doing it with some Jedi Apprentice characters, hope you all like it. Please review!

**Jedi Apprentice: Whose Line Is It Anyways?**

**Chapter 1: Let's Make A Date**

Announcer: This is Whose Line Is It Anyway?

Audience applauds.

The host tonight is the one, the only Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn!

Qui-Gon is sitting at a desk in front of the stage, wearing a grin on his face.

Qui-Gon: Welcome everyone to Whose Line Is It Anyway? The game where everything is made up and the points don't matter. That's right they don't matter, just like Republic credits on Tatooine. Tonight we have a entire Jedi cast starting with my Padawan Obi-Wan (I overanalyze everything.) Kenobi!

Obi-Wan waves to the crowd and rolls his eyes at Qui-Gon.

Qui-Gon: Next we have Siri (I can make Obi-Wan cry.) Tachi!

Siri waved and smiled sweetly to the crowd and laughed at the irritated look on Obi-Wan's face.

Qui-Gon: And next is Bruck (I look like Draco from Harry Potter.) Chun!

Bruck looks annoyed at Qui-Gon.

Qui-Gon: And finally we have Garen (Starships are pretty.) Muln!

Bruck waves at the crowd and smiles.

Qui-Gon: Alright then, lets get started. Ok, for those who haven't seen the show, what is going to happen is that the performers or Padawans I should say are going to improvise everything that I tell them to. At the end of each game I award points, which really doesn't mean anything. Well anyways, lets start with the first game Let's Make A Date. Siri is on a dating show and Obi-Wan, Bruck and Garen are the bachelor contestants. Each have a strange quirk or identity and at the end Siri will have to try to figure it out. When your ready go ahead and start.

Siri, Obi-Wan, Bruck and Garen grab stools and sit them in a line. The guys look at their envelopes each wearing a different expression on their face.

Siri: Alright Bachelor #1, I like long moonlight walks along the beach, what do you like?

A Ewok runs past the audience carrying a sign that says: a bitter bounty who hasn't been paid.

Obi-Wan: I like nothing but making sure I get my due, this is business is tough enough without having to worry about people not paying you!

Siri:Um…interesting. Bachelor #2 same question.

Ewok runs by with a new sign: talks to imaginary friend.

Bruck: Can Larry come to the beach too? He loves swimming in the water…Stares off into space.You can't swim? What do you mean you can't swim? You lied...ok I forgive you.

Siri rolls her eyes. Ok, moving onto Bachelor #3. What would you buy me on our first date?

Ewok runs by bearing the last sign: Master Yoda.

Garen: Buy you nothing I would. No possessions Jedi should have. Know this you do. Bruck is still muttering, so Garen smacks him with an imaginary stick. Quiet youngling you must be.

Siri: Alright as if that wasn't at all obvious…anyways Bachelor #1. What is your favorite pastime?

Obi-Wan: Spending credits, that is when that lazy sod finally gets around to paying me for my hard word!

Siri: Whoa, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. Bachelor #2, what is your favorite pastime?

Bruck: Larry and I love to play I Spy With My Little Eye!

Siri: O..K, Bachelor #3 same question.

Garen: Meditate I do. Cooking I love.

BUZZ

Qui-Gon: So do you know who they are supposed to be Siri?

Siri: Obi-Wan is some bounty hunter.

Qui-Gon: What about him?

Siri: He's hasn't been paid?

Qui-Gon: You got it, what about Bruck.

Siri: He's some little kid who still thinks he has an imaginary friend.

Qui-Gon: Right. And Garen?

Siri: Is so obviously Master Yoda.

Qui-Gon: Good job! A thousand points a piece, not that they matter much. We will be back after the break with more Whose Line Is It Anyway?


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon, Siri or any other creations of the masterful George Lucas. Nor do I own Whose Line Is It Anyway? or any of the games in it.

**Jedi Apprentice: Whose Line Is It Anyways?**

**Chapter 2: Questions Only**

Qui-Gon: Welcome back to Whose Line Is It Anyways? Our next game---yes Obi-Wan?

Looks over to Obi-Wan who had raised his hand. Obi-Wan: May I be excused from this game?

Qui-Gon: No you may not, remember this is your pre trial trial.

Obi-Wan nods glumly.

Mace Windu who is sitting behind Qui-Gon pokes him in the back. Pre trial trial?

Qui-Gon: Well it was the only way to get them to agree to do this. He whispered back before turning back to the front. Now our next game is Questions Only. In this game we will start with Bruck and Obi-Wan, with Garen and Siri in the wings. If they don't ask in questions or hesitate I will ring the buzzer.The setting is Didi's Diner, you may start when ready.

Bruck and Obi-Wan face each other glaring.

Obi-Wan: May I have the special?

Bruck: Can you get it yourself?

Obi-Wan: But aren't you my waitress?

Bruck: Do you want to die now?

Obi-Wan: Do you want to kill me?

Bruck: Yes!

BUZZ

Bruck steps back and Garen comes forward.

Garen: Isn't this place crowded?

Obi-Wan: Aren't there lots of aliens here?

Garen: Do you think there are?

Obi-Wan: Have you met Didi?

Garen: Do I want to?

Obi-Wan: Will you answer my question?

Garen: Why don't you tell me?

Obi-Wan: I asked you first

BUZZ

Obi-Wan steps back and Siri walks forward.

Siri: Have you tried any of this soup?

Garen: Have you?

Siri: Do you know what is in it?

Garen: Do you think the contents are hazardous to our health?

Siri: Do you know who made it?

Garen: Um…

BUZZ

Bruck steps forward as Garen steps back.

Bruck: Do you come here often?

Siri: Who wants to know?

Bruck: Do you like avoid questions?

Siri: Do you like irritating me?

BUZZ

Qui-Gon: Ok, that's enough, 1000 points a piece…but don't get excited they don't mean a thing.

AN: I want to thank The Jedi Princess, daddies-little-girl90, and Sam for their wonderful reviews, hope you liked this chapter!


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon, Siri or any other creations of the masterful George Lucas. Nor do I own Whose Line Is It Anyway? or any of the games in it.

**Jedi Apprentice: Whose Line Is It Anyway?**

**Chapter 3: Scenes From A Hat**

Qui-Gon: Next we are going to do a game called Scenes From A Hat. Now at the beginning of the show we ask the audience for suggestions and we put the best ones in a hat. Pulls out a storm trooper helmet and stares at the camera while waving his hand. You WILL forget that stormtroopers don't exist yet. The first one is what is the audience thinking right now?

Bruck: Man! The guy next to me smells like a bantha in heat.

Obi-Wan: I KNEW I should've gone before the show.

Garen: Is it just me or is it FREEZING in here?

Obi-Wan: Haha, if they only knew what I was REALLY thinking.

Siri: Who put the "kick me" sign on Qui-Gon's back?

BUZZ

Qui-Gon checks his back to find a sign there, he turns to Siri.

Qui-Gon: Did Adi put you up to that?

Siri: Maybe…Smirks.

Qui-Gon shakes his head. Things you wouldn't say to a Jedi Master.

Garen: Master Windu did anyone ever tell you that a purple lightsaber is "girly"?

Siri: I don't feel like meditating today, I think I will go shopping.

Obi-Wan: Who thought of the Jedi Code? I mean seriously it must have been invented by some boring old Master who never saw the light of day.

Garen: I don't want to be a Jedi anymore; can I be a bounty hunter?

Bruck: Do I have to go to class, there are some new holovids I want to check out.

BUZZ

Qui-Gon: Forgotten pieces of Jedi wisdom.

Obi-Wan: When failing to open a complicated lock, the lightsaber works wonders.

Garen; You can always count on droids to be annoying nuisances.

Bruck: A lightsaber shorting out is never a good thing.

Siri: Mind tricks can only be used on complete idiots.

BUZZ

Qui-Gon: HoloNet headlines.

Bruck: The Agri-Corps: A Article by Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Obi-Wan: Most Senators Corrupt: Details Inside.

Garen: A Day In The Life Of A Jedi Padawan: By Garen Muln.

BUZZ

Qui-Gon: I'm going to give you each 2, 739 points…because I have nowhere else to put them.

AN: First off I want to send a big THANK YOU to Sam, The Dancing Cavalier, prisoneroaskaban, and Ewan Wyvernback for their lovely reviews. Next I will say that I have plans to do a Hoedown and after that I will take requests for games as long as they are possible. For example…can't really do sound effects or some of the other games, because its better to see and hear than to read. So send the requests in and I'll do my best to keep them coming as often I can.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon, Siri or any other creations of the masterful George Lucas. Nor do I own Whose Line Is It Anyway? or any of the games in it.

**Jedi Apprentice: Whose Line Is It Anyway?**

**Chapter 4: Whose Line**

Qui-Gon: Ok we actually have a game on Whose Line Is It Anyway called Whose Line. This is for Bruck and Garen. They are going to do a scene and then every once and awhile they will read lines that we earlier asked the audience to donate.

Bruck and Garen came forward and took the envelopes and put them in their back pockets.

Qui-Gon: What's going to happen is Bruck and Garen are going to act out a scene. Then every once and awhile they will read lines that we earlier asked the audience to donate. The scene is you find out that you are long lost twin brothers, I know…very original idea (especially with this saga).

Garen: Hello stranger!

Bruck Hey! You look like me! Why?

Garen: I haven't the slightest idea.

Bruck: It's almost as if we were….twins or something.

Garen: You know, now that you mention it my mother always used to say to me takes out slip of paper and reads it you look like a squirrel, go wash your face.

Bruck: Really? Harsh.

Garen: Yeah I know, but she did tell me once that there was someone else in the galaxy that looked just like me.

Bruck: Ah ha! So your mother must be mine…she must have been the one that left me at Jabba's Happy Funland when I was only 2!

Garen: I think you are right.

Bruck: You have no idea what it was like to grow up without a family. Living in that scary Jedi Temple listening to Masters Yoda and Mace Windu singing the song takes out a sheet and reads it we are family. I got all my sisters with me.

Garen: That must have been scary.

Bruck: You have no idea.

Garen: Anyways mom always felt bad about leaving you. She didn't realize what she had done until it was too late. Dad would just say to her reads the next sheet of paper crazy is a relative term in my family.

Bruck: Maybe I should be happy I wasn't there.

Garen: Yes you should.

Bruck: The best times of my life were when my Master Xanatos was training me. His favorite piece of Jedi wisdom was: keep people smiling, it makes them wonder what your up to.

Garen: Sounds fascinating.

Bruck: Quite.

Garen: My Master Clee Rhara was also fond of certain pieces of Jedi wisdom, her favorite was pulls out slip procrastinate now, don't put it off.

Bruck: You know I'm so happy I found you brother.

Garen: Me too!

Bruck: Why I used to say that if I could find my brother that I would go up to him and say reads last slip of paper I am mentally unstable.

BUZZ

Qui-Gon: That was great, a thousand points apiece. Now for a commercial break from our sponsors.

AN: Sorry this chapter was a bit slow in coming, real life got in the way. On top of work and school my sister just came home who had been in Indonesia for 5 months. And I've been catching up with her and stuff so yeah, hope you like. I am planning on doing Superheroes, But first I plan on doing a Hoedown. Hopefully I will be able to whip it into shape soon. Thanks to Sam, The Dancing Cavalier, Ewan Wyvernback and L Moonshade for reviewing!


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon, Siri or any other creations of the masterful George Lucas. Nor do I own Whose Line Is It Anyway? or any of the games in it.

**Jedi Apprentice: Whose Line Is It Anyway?**

**Chapter 5**

Qui-Gon: I lied…there were no sponsors for this show…anyways…moving on to a Hoedown!

The four panelists groaned.

Qui-Gon: None of that now...usually we would ask the audience for suggestions for the song, but as we are all Jedi here we might as well do a Jedi Hoedown. With the assistance of Xanatos on the keyboard. Let's start.

The four Padawans stand up and get in a line and then the Hoedown music starts.

Garen: The Jedi starfighter program really did rock,

Flying everyday using our skills and a bit of luck.

Too bad the Senate decided they should shut it down,

Hey its not my fault it failed you idiotic clowns.

Siri and Obi-Wan do-si-do.

Bruck: As a Jedi I get to use a saber each day,

Serious weapons, they aren't for play,

My Jedi weapon always does shine,

Just hope that it short out for 36th time.

Siri: Mission after mission, things have never been easy,

Facing the Council is the one thing that makes me queasy.

Lucky as I am Obi-Wan has done it more,

Since facing them mostly is quite a bore.

Mace Windu shakes his head and starts muttering to himself, everyone else just laughs.

Obi-Wan: I am a Jedi, have been one all my life,

Bringing peace and justice to planets with strife.

With my Master Qui-Gon his hair is really wild,

I just better watch my back or he'll act like a child.

Everyone: Act like a child!

Qui-Gon: You must really want extra meditations Padawan. No matter 100 points a piece!

AN: I would like to thank my lovely reviewers Ewan Wyvernback,

Sam AkaLudivineLover and The Dancing Cavalier.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I don't own Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon, Siri or any other creations of the masterful George Lucas. Nor do I own Whose Line Is It Anyway? or any of the games in it.

**Jedi Apprentice: Whose Line Is It Anyway?**

Chapter 6: Superheroes 

Qui-Gon: Welcome back to Whose--- what are you doing Padawan?

Only moments before, Obi-Wan stood up, and now he cleared his throat in dramatic fashion.

Obi-Wan: Master, how much more do we have to do?

Qui-Gon: Until I say you may stop, Padawan.

Obi-Wan: Can we have a break then?

Qui-Gon: No you may not.­ We have an audience here.

Obi-Wan: Please?

Qui-Gon: No. 

The four panelists sigh.

Qui-Gon: Now, now, none of that. He scolded. Then Qui-Gon smiled and began to speak again. As I was saying before, welcome back to Whose Line Is It Anyway? The place where the points don't matter, just like possessions to a Jedi. Now our next game is Superheroes! Garen, you are a superhero who needs to solve a problem. The other three will come in and assist one at a time. What I need from the audience is a problem for them to solve.

The entire audience yells at once.

Random Audience Member #1: All the Hutts have been kidnapped!

Random Audience Member #2: All the lightsabers have been stolen!

Qui-Gon: The first one I heard disturbed me… So I'll go with the second one. All the lightsabers have been stolen. Now we need a superhero name for Garen. 

Audience yells out suggestions.

Random Audience Member #3: Captain Happy Pants!

Random Audience Member #4: Sergeant Sentimental!

Qui-Gon: Sergeant Sentimental will do nicely. Garen, you are Sergeant Sentimental and all the lightsabers have been stolen. You may start when ready.

Garen writes on his datapad and tearfully narrates.

Garen: And then they said I couldn't have a puppy! He sniffles into a handkerchief. I like puppies… Wait a moment; what is this? It looks like all the lightsabers have been stolen. Oh no, what are we going to do? Poor, poor lightsabers, away from their masters! Cries loudly. I sure hope my super friends arrive soon!

Bruck walks forward and over to Garen.

Bruck: Hello, what do you want?

Garen: Thank goodness you are here, Captain Clumsy!

Bruck shoots a subtle glare at Garen before starting to walk closer and tripping on his own foot.

Bruck: Stars and planets, that hurt!

Garen: All the lightsabers are missing!

Bruck: Oh… Right…­ Um…Giggles nervously. Is anyone else coming?

Garen: I hope so. Bursts into tears once more.

Siri walks forward.

Bruck: Thank goodness you are here, Paranoia Girl! 

Siri: Oh no, what's wrong? Something must be wrong for you to have asked for me to come. I hope nothing is wrong; is there something wrong? Because if there is, it can't be anything good. 

Bruck: Did you catch any of that?

Garen: No, but I'm so happy she is here. Gives a happy sigh and stares off into space. Now she can save the kidnapped lightsabers.

Siri: The lightsabers were kidnapped? Oh dear, what's going to happen now? Poor Jedi without lightsabers. How do we get them back; will we ever get them back? Someone answer me!

Obi-Wan walks up to Siri. 

Obi-Wan: Hello…

Siri: Thank goodness you are here, Bad Tempered Droid Boy!

Obi-Wan stands up straight and glares at Siri. He tries to talk like a droid would.

Obi-Wan: What do you want, you idiotic humanoid lifeform?

Siri: He is evil. Someone save me from the evil droid. What are we going to do? What if he kills me in the night?

Bruck: Relax Paranoia Girl, it's just Droid Boy…­Bruck walks over by Obi-Wan, who puts out a foot and trips him. He falls down and hits his nose. Oops… What did you do that for?

Obi-Wan: Who is Oafy now? HA HA HA HA! Walks away.

Siri: I should follow him. What if he gets hurt? And if he gets hurt, he might need medical attention. And I should follow so I can give it to him, if he needs it. Must go! 

Leaves.

Garen bursts into tears once more. But we never solved the problem… No more lightsabers.

Bruck: Well actually it is… You see, I kinda dropped them in the lake. Blushes and runs away.

Garen: One more problem solved. I want hot cocoa and a teddy bear! Walks away as Qui-Gon presses the buzzer.

Qui-Gon: That was…­ Interesting. Well 100,000,000 points to everyone! Hey, you're Jedi, so you couldn't spend them even if they were real!

Everyone groans.

AN: I want to give a big THANK YOU to my reviewers… you-owe-me-one cannoli, prisoneroaskaban, Sam, The Dancing Cavalier, vsztym, and Jacen fan. You guys certainly inspire me to keep writing this. Thanks again.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I don't own Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon, Siri or any other creations of the masterful George Lucas. Nor do I own Whose Line Is It Anyway? or any of the games in it.

**Jedi Apprentice: Whose Line Is It Anyways?**

**Chapter 7: Party Quirks**

Qui-Gon: Welcome back everyone to Whose Line Is It Anyway? The place where the---what is it this time, Padawan?

As Qui-Gon spoke, the four Jedi Padawans stood up, and Obi-Wan slowly walked forward. 

Obi-Wan: Master, we've realized that this game couldn't possibly have anything to do with our trials.

Siri: Right, and we have a petition to end this. We are willing to take it to the Council.

Qui-Gon: Let me see it.

Siri hands the petition to Qui-Gon.

Qui-Gon: There aren't many signatures…­ And you forged Master Yoda's. Back to the game.

Bruck mutters to Garen.

Bruck: I knew we shouldn't have done that. 

Obi-Wan: Master, will you reconsider?

Qui-Gon: You already know my answer.

Obi-Wan sighs and returns to his seat, the others soon follow.

Qui-Gon: Now, where were we? Ah, yes, the next game. It's time for Party Quirks! The game is for everyone. Obi-Wan, you are hosting a party and the rest are the guests, only they have strange quirks and personalities. Obi-Wan will have to try and guess what they are in the end. You may start when you are ready.

Obi-Wan: Master?

Qui-Gon sighs before turning to look at Obi-Wan.

Qui-Gon: What is it this time, Padawan?

Obi-Wan: You do know that revenge is not the way of the Jedi.

Qui-Gon: And you know that padawans must respect their masters wishes.

Obi-Wan pouts, but gets in position. 

Obi-Wan: Wow, my first party. I'm so excited. Let's see, I have the chips, the dip, even some of those ronto burgers everyone loves. I hope my guests arrive soon.

The doorbell rings. Obi-Wan answers the pretend door and Garen walks up.

Obi-Wan: Hello Garen, you're the first one here. Want some food or something? 

Garen: How can I eat when it's about ready to begin?

He stares off into space.

The ewok runs past once more carrying a new sign for the audience to read. It says: Spectator at a podracing match, who ends up loosing a bet.

Garen: C'mon, move it will you? Who cares if your engine isn't working properly, push it to the limit! You're almost there…­ Just a little bit more.

Obi-Wan: Ok­ Garen, you need to get some sleep. 

The doorbell rings and Obi-Wan answers the pretend door again. This time Bruck walks forward haphazardly, and nearly runs into Obi-Wan.

The ewok runs past carrying a new sign that reads: Drunken spacer in a cantina.

Bruck: How're ya? Can e have a drink?

Obi-Wan: No¡­ I think you've had enough.

Bruck walks forward and stumbles, saving himself by grabbing a hold of Garen's tunic.

Garen: NOOOOOOO! It's all over. He starts crying. Why couldn't you hold on longer? Why? I lost everything!

Bruck: Have one of these man¡­ It will make you feel better.

Hands pretend drink to Garen and then passes out cold. See above

Obi-Wan: That was interesting¡­ I wonder if my last guest is going to arrive anytime soon.

The doorbell rings and soon Siri comes forward.

Obi-Wan: Why, Siri, so good of you to---

Siri: Silence. You are not to speak unless I tell you to. And you are to refer to me as ma'm.

The ewok runs by with a new sign saying: Drill Sergeant.

Obi-Wan: Why would I want to do that?

Siri: Who is in charge here? You guessed it, me. Now do as I say!

Obi-Wan: Yes, ma'm.

Siri: Now drop and give me twenty.

Obi-Wan: Isn't that a little extreme, Siri. 

Siri: You are not to speak! You!

Siri points to Garen.

Siri: At attention, and for galaxy's sake act like a man!

Garen does as she says, still mock weeping.

Siri: And you!

She goes over to Bruck and kicks him in the shin. Bruck opens a eye and looks at Siri.

Siri: On your feet, now! We will have order or my name is not, Siri Tachi!

BUZZ 

Qui-Gon: Can you guess who they are?

Obi-Wan: Well let's see. Garen was a gambler on some race and lost.

Qui-Gon: Podrace, yes. What about Bruck?

Obi-Wan: He's acting drunk. 

Qui-Gon: I'll give it to you. Now, what about Siri? 

Obi-Wan: She was being quite bossy.

Qui-Gon: And? 

Obi-Wan: Was she some sort or army officer?

Qui-Gon: A drill sergeant. Good job everyone, a thousand points a piece; not that it counts for anything. We might be back later, but I feel it's time for a break for these Padawans---

All four panelists rush for the door.

Qui-Gon: And I don't know if I will be able to get them back again soon. So, until next time, thank you for watching: Whose Line Is It Anyway?

AN: This chapter I'm sorry to say is the end of this story. I've had a blast writing it, but I've come to the point where I can't think up anything new. I want to thank everyone for reading and for making this so much fun to do. Maybe someday in the future I will pick this story up again, but right now it is complete. I want to give a big THANK YOU to my awesome reviewers: L Moonshade, Sam, Pineylife, Captain Arianna Trouble, Cerasi, and Riley and Ewan McIrving. Thank you everyone for reading my crazy little story.


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